


Effigy

by Arzosah30



Series: Like A God [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Crack, Inanimate Objects, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-14 05:30:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7155623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arzosah30/pseuds/Arzosah30
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Curator Jensen finds out how life-like the new fertility god statue in his museum really is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Effigy

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first post in this fandom and I consider myself a complete novice in the company of some amazing writers. This is my meager offering at the altar of the gods and was inspired by many. I'm posting this now because a workmate thought it a waste to leave my writing on my HD forever without someone else ever reading them.

Jensen closed another dusty tome on his desk. The rest of his staff had left many hours ago, and the museum was dark but for the desk lamps in his office. His job as curator was usually spent buried in his office doing research as much as looking after the day to day administration of the small museum.

Jensen had always loved the idea of another time or realm even from an early age, voraciously pouring over books on the subject. Danneel had joked often that he had been born a thousand years too late as he struggled to meet people in a modern world.

The latest exhibition of ancient European antiquities opened next month. He had less than a week to correctly categorize the acquisitions. He then had to prepare the exhibit placards and then provide the technical content for the museum programmes to be printed by the Museum’s advertising agency.

Rubbing his tired eyes, he looked at the last statue of the exhibit that needed to be catalogued tonight. Dated from the Dark Ages of Eastern Europe, the polished wooden effigy was dark and looming on the carpet of his office. Little known about how the statue had come up for auction last month.

Carved from hard oak, the statue of a male fertility god was smooth and polished with some sort of beeswax. The male figure was taller than Jensen himself by a few inches. The breadth of its shoulders and deep grooved ridges with strong musculature made the figure imposing and letting all see his strength and domination over his subjects.

The facial features with a low brow, tilted eyes and a slash for a mouth were carved in what could almost be considered a lewd grin. 

Adding to the illusion of his masculinity was the long thick phallus that jutted upwards from between the statue's thighs. 

Jensen had spent the last two hours researching the fertility rites of many Dark Ages tribes of early Europe. His mind was filled with thoughts of rituals, virgin sacrifices and orgies in the name of the gods. Stories of how the servile sucked, fucked and prayed for more.  
Jensen squirmed on his hard desk chair, his cock hard and dampening his boxers. His skin was prickly and warm with arousal.

Jensen's sex life had been going through a dry spell since his boyfriend had left him just over six months ago. Matt had a thought his interest in the past went beyond normal and was bordering on obsession. With no one waiting for him at home, Jensen mainly spent long hours working at the museum only to go home to fall into exhausted slumber and his toybox under the bed forgotten.

He hadn't gotten laid in ages and all this research about primal sex was playing havoc with his libido.

He rubbed his eyes, forgetting about his glasses to clumsily bump them loose from his nose onto the floor. He huffed his annoyance and leaned over onto the floor to retrieve them but this caused his loose notes and a book to cascade nosily to the floor.

"Dammit," cursed Jensen at his own clumsiness. He stood up and pushed the chair back, his dick tenting his slacks obscenely as he moved. He hissed in frustration at the material of his boxers rubbing against the sensitive head of his dick.

He got his glasses off the floor finally and placed them carefully on the desk. He moved to retrieve the now scattered books, papers and pens on the floor that now widely littered the carpet. He grabbed one then another of random scatter of papers and kept bending down as he moved around to get them all.

"Idiot…” he mumbled, the buzz of his arousal making him cranky and frustrated and now annoyed at all the time it would take to sort these again.

His conscientious retrieval was interrupted when he misjudged the space between his desk and the statue and he was rudely prodded in his ass and balls by the statue's hard phallic protrusion.

"Oh fuck!" gasped Jensen in surprise, as he dropped the documents he was holding in shock at the expected contact in his privates. It seemed that the statue's erect member was just the exact height for Jensen's ass when he is bent over. Jensen's lower brain, already overactive from his research, was happy to report that he would have been inadvertently impaled by the statue's wooden dick if he’d actually been naked.

Jensen leaned a hand on his desk to support himself as his knees shook in arousal. He was jittery and could do nothing to prevent himself from looking over his shoulder at the huge wooden cock jutting out behind him. The lifelike cock was carved with ridges for the glans, long and thick with swell of balls at the base. It reminded his of his favorite dildo in his toybox at home.

Jensen swallowed and bit his lip. He looked up at the dark grin of the god. The fixed expression seemed pleased with the turn in Jensen’s thoughts, like he knew of his power over someone as desperate as Jensen caught in his thrall.

Jensen reached for his belt automatically and tugged at his zipper of his slacks. Once undone he quickly moved to wrench open his desk drawer and pull out the tube of Vaseline he kept there. 

He quickly pulled off his shoes, slacks and boxers. He squirted some of the lubricant onto his fingers and reached quickly for his pucker. If he was going to continue with this madness, he knew better hurry before he chickened out, so Jensen deftly stuffed two fingers in his ass, ignoring the burn. He moaned and gripped the blotter on his desk to steady himself as his other hand thrust his fingers in and out, stretching and opening his hole.

"Oh fuck! God!" He couldn't help but roll his eyes at the irony that he was indeed prepping himself to fuck a god in his office. The dirtysickwrong thoughts about using one of his exhibits to get off was beginning to actually turn him on more and made his cock throb.

Sneaking another glance at this statue and the rigid cock that he was soon going to use to replace his fingers, Jensen knew he was done with the prep. He needed this to be hard, fast and dirty.

He walked over to the statue, pulling himself to his full height as he looked up into the god's wooden gaze.

He squirted some more of the Vaseline onto his hand and ran his hand over the head of the god's cock, slicking up the wooden glans.

Jensen felt his cock throb and his hole twitch at the thought of that hard wooden cockhead inside him soon.

"Hey big boy, all this here for me?" said Jensen coquettishly to the blank stare of the god, his hand still on the wooden cock. He laughed at his own joke in the silence of the room.

"Okay, here goes," he said biting his hip as he dropped the tube of Vaseline to the floor and turned to back his ass up to the statue.

He felt the hardness poke between his asscheeks and nudge at his pucker. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breathes as he tried to relax and let his arousal take over from his brain.

It was like he knew that was what the god would want - his surrender to his baser passions. He pulled the cheeks of his ass apart further and pushed back gently, testing the slick of his hole.

The flared head of the glans was smooth and slowly pushed into Jensen's hole. Sweat was beading on Jensen's upper lip as he kept pushing back firmly, feeling the hard length breach his orifice and fill him. His legs were shaking in the slow push as his rim was stretched wide by the hard wooden cock.

"Oh fuck!.. It's so ..fuckin' ....big," he groaned. "Didn't think.. It'd be so.."

Jensen shuddered when he felt the push of the carved balls against his ass. He panted and tried to relax around the intrusion until he realized that he was finally fully seated back on the whole of the god's cock.

While he'd taken many a big dildo in his time, this was the first time anything so rigid as wood had been inside him. There was no give in the solid cock as he clenched his rim around the shaft. 

Breathing deeply, now that the initial burn had subsided, he slid forward on the slick timber and bounced back again on his toes in cautious experimentation. The hard press of the wood against the walls of his channel as it slid home again made him shudder in want.

"So fuckin' good," he breathed with only the silent form of the statue to hear him.

Satisfied that this was actually going to work without rupturing something, Jensen quickly increased his rhythm of back and forth forcing his hole to swallow the wooden cock. His own hard cock was slapping his stomach with each forward motion, dripping steadily at the head. He was using his hands to brace himself on his knees to get a rocking motion that pushed him harder and faster back onto the god's cock.

He was slick with sweat now, his lips bitten trying to control the noises from his mouth in the silence of the museum. He felt his balls pull up tight, full and ready for him to come. His cock was red and straining, begging for touch but he didn't dare break his hold or change his stance as the hard wooden length was driving perfectly on his sweet spot.

"Oh God! Oh God! Fuck please!" he begged. "Make me come! Need to fuckin' come!" he pleaded as he slammed home once again, his hole clenching on the unyielding wood begging to be filled by the god completely.

His prayer must have been answered as the blaze of his orgasm took over him and his balls released their load of hot jizz in great blurts onto his chest and onto the carpet as he continued to pump his hips chasing each wave of his climax. 

He eventually stopped moving when everything that he thought he had had erupted from his dick in this monumental orgasm.

He was limp as a rag-doll as he waited for his vision to clear and feeling to return to his limbs, his breath harsh and panting.

Jensen knew the idea of fucking something like a statue and actual the execution of said fucking had a high chance of disappointment, but he was pleased to say that in this case, it had been a fucking brilliant idea. 

He knew his hole would be sore for days after this and he closed his eyes and focused on the feel of the hard object one last time inside him before he attempted his dismount.

Jensen's eyes widened as he felt that something had changed. 

He was sure he was hallucinating and was still woozy from his mind-blowing orgasm as the cock inside him now started to throb with heat and was no longer made of wood. 

Warm strong arms reached to pull him back against a hard muscular chest covered with skin and the hard fleshy cock pushed deep within him.

"Holy Fuck!" shrieked Jensen as he tried to squirm away, but he was held tight against what could only be the one human form of a god.

"Your prayers have been answered," rumbled a low voice against his ear as lean hips moved behind him, sliding the god's engorged blood-filled cock slowly in and out of Jensen's ass.

"Who? How?" stuttered Jensen. Visitations by the gods on earth were the stuff of one of the legends in Jensen's books, not Small-town USA.

Jensen squirmed to look at the now human visage of the god that had previously been wooden and lifeless. Jensen saw long chestnut hair frame a face that had multicolored eyes and a plush pink mouth.

"I'm Jared, one of the Old Ones. You called for me to come to you during the ritual of your supplication. You gave me the sacrifice of your seed. Now I will give you mine," said the god.

Large hands lifted him bodily as warm lips pressed against his shoulder. Jensen couldn't stop himself from being pressed forward until his chest was pressed onto the empty surface of his desk, his ass now gaping empty of Jared's cock.

His dick valiantly started to thicken as Jared's large hands manhandled him to flip him over onto his back and spread his legs and pull him against the edge of the desk. Jared then lifted his ankles high onto his broad shoulders and pulled his ass in tight to spear his huge throbbing cock home once again in Jensen's hole.

Jensen moaned at the perfect glide of Jared's dick against his sweet spot. Jensen's cock was hard once again as Jared filled him full of his cock. He couldn't believe his eyes at the divine beauty of Jared's rippling muscles as he thrust and bucked into Jensen's hole. 

Jared's eyes started to glow gold as his passion swirled around them. Jensen thought if his heart stopped and he died at this moment, he would feel as though his life was fulfilled by his brush with divine perfection.

"Jared.." breathed Jensen overwhelmed.

Jared seemed to know at once about Jensen's epiphany and he bent down to press his lips to Jensen's in a kiss of deep possession. As one of Jared's large hands began to stroke Jensen's dick, Jensen's lips parted in a moan and Jared deepened their kiss with a rumble of pleasure in his chest. A few more thrusts of Jared's hips and Jensen felt the warm splash of Jared's come coat his insides.

Jensen spine arched as he came for his second time, his release painting both their abdomens.

After two of the most intense orgasms of his life, Jensen's eyes slipped shut as he slipped into unconsciousness.

:::

Jensen awoke looking up a blue sky with white clouds softly floating by. He was lying alone on a hill covered in lush green grass with long fleeced sheep grazing further afield.  
He was naked but he was neither hot nor cold. 

The last thing he remembered was having hot delusional sex in his office. Maybe he slipped picking up his research papers and hit his head and was in coma?

No inappropriate use of artifacts? No fantasy fucks with deities?

He didn't want to think about the other more final reason for his being here. Was he meant to maybe count sheep for all eternity? His shut his eyes in the sunlight and wondered if he would be home in bed when he opened them.

"Are you going to just lay there sleeping?" said Jared's voice. Jensen's eyes popped open to Jared looming over him blocking out the sun from his face. Jared reached down to pull Jensen to his feet. 

It seemed that Jared is still around, even if this was heaven or something in between.

Jared was still naked, his bronzed skin kissed by the warm sun. Jared smiled and Jensen couldn't believe that his god personified would have dimples. 

Jared pressed a quick kiss to his lips and pulled Jensen to walk with him.

"I'm dead, aren't I?" asked Jensen as he followed. They were now heading for a stone shelter near a brook that Jensen was sure hadn't been there just before.

Jared stopped and turned to face him. One of his large hands reached to cup Jensen's face and another slid to his hip. Jared brushed his thumb over Jensen's mouth tenderly.

"I forgot about humans and their obsession with their mortality," said Jared with a wry grin. 

"Am I dead?" Jensen asked again.

"No," replied the god. 

Jensen sighed with relief, thinking of his family and friends. 

”Am I in a coma or something, then?”

Jared pulled him into his arms and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "I don’t know what that is, but no. You no longer exist in the human world. You are an immortal now -like me."

"What!?" said Jensen freezing.

"You were given the gift of immortality on our coupling. You gave yourself to me in sacrifice in return for the gift of everlasting life as a mate of the gods," said Jared smiling. 

Jensen remembered reading in one of the texts about rituals such as Jared described as humans sought out ways to receive benevolence from the gods. His love of history and the rites of the past had been his passion for most of his life. 

"I had been waiting for one such as you, my mate My totem only appears to one who understands the old ways and is worthy. You recognized my claim on your soul and offered yourself to me."

Jensen felt the truth in Jared's words. He'd never felt in sync with the modern world and had buried himself in the world of old. He had always thought that been born in the wrong time or place with his family and friends never truly understanding him. He was meant for this - to be the perfect human mate for a god that observed rituals and traditions.

"Yes. Yes, I did.". He flushed with embarrassment but soon offered a brave smile, knowing now that he was finally making some sense of his life. He wound his arms around Jared’s neck and pressed close.

"My beloved," murmured Jared against his skin.

"My destiny," agreed Jensen as he pulled Jared's mouth down to meet his.

*fin*


End file.
